Poll: Is it Harder Being a Guy Gamer or Girl Gamer?
By maryvarn on May 13th, 2010Posted In: NPC Blog,Polls
In the recent NPC comic, They Meet Again, the characters bring up the debate: Is it harder being a guy gamer or a girl gamer? There’s some good discussion on this topic in the comments, but I want to hear from more of you. So it’s poll time! Taking into consideration the various societal expectations, stereotypes, and demand in the dating pool, what do you think is harder – being a girl gamer or a guy gamer? And let’s assume that in this one instance by “gamer” I mean someone who’s into more than playing solitaire on their phone. (Nothing wrong with that though!) Despite the alt-text on They Meet Again, I’m gonna have to think about how I answer this myself. On the one hand, it certainly doesn’t seem as socially acceptable for me to be into video games as it is for my boyfriend. On the other hand, I could totally make money by playing video games because of the sheer demand for girl gamers! Oh, but wait, that’s kind of weird being fetishized like that! I could go back and forth like this all day. So please, tell me the answer.
I think it’s basically comparing apples and oranges. There are different factors at play within each group that make them hard to compare side-by-side.
That said, girls seem to be the more intuitive answer. But I’m really unsure.
I’m a guy..and I definitely thing it’s harder for a girl. Having to prove your gender, having to deal with geeks and nerds hitting on you all the time. Yeah, it’s definitely harder to be a girl.
I think it’s easier for girls to get dates in society in general, so the “subset” of society who are gamers (something like 68% of Australians play games, according to a recent survey), the same rule applies.
Also, guy gamers tend to be horrible slobs while girl gamers are just quirky and cute.
wow..stereotype at the end much? Yeha, I have some pudge. Probably more then is healthy, but it’s certainly not because I game.
Nor am I a ‘horrible slob’ while being a gamer. My room is clean. I shower and wear the appropriate items for good hygiene.
I mean if you want to stereotype, then I could say that gamer girls tend to be either stuck up, psychotic, or closet cases from playing games too much.
But I wouldn’t do that because it’s not true. Please think before you make comments like that.
I think it depends on what you mean by ‘tough’.
For example, girl gamers many have a tougher time being taken seriously by gamers in general. But in general society, they more than likely have an easier time interacting with non-gamers than their male counterparts.
I agree.
As a former Street Fighter/Neo Geo tourny goer there have plenty of times where I was underestimated during competitions so I’m fully aware of the discrimination. On the other hand females in general do have a much easier time in social situations due to the fact that the stigma of being a “gamer” or “basement dweller” need not apply to us.
In the end the question is about what matters more? Being socially accepted by a bunch of guy gamers or mainstream society in general?
It’s only relevant if you think it is. Sure, there are differing social norms based on gender, but thinking that being a “gamer” has a gender-specific component that over-rides the “normal” vs “geek” thing just is silly… And I gotta wonder, would it be appropriate to ask if it would be “harder” to be a black gamer as opposed to a white one? Gay -vs- straight?
Horde (cool) -vs- Alliance (lame)?
DK (bad*ss) -vs- Pally (overpowered and easy)?
Waffles (leggo) -vs- Pancakes (2d food!)?
Microsoft (evil yet incompetent) -vs- Apple (Cool yet fascist)?
Coke (red) -vs- Pepsi (blue)?
Wine (fine) -vs- Liquor (quicker)?
Silly (walks) -vs- Fish (fishy fish oh)?
Overdone (jokes) -vs- Redundant (referencing)?
I walk the line:
Steamwheedle – (Don’t let me get between you unless there’s profit!)
Warrior – (underpowered dps / adequate tanking)
Crêpe (I take your 2d food and roll it through the third dimension!)
Red Hat (The OTHER other software…)
RC – (light pink)
Beer (close to water)
Sensible Party
Innuendo (and out the other)
From the jobs I have had recently (all of them tech related in some sense, the one with the gal gamers being tech support) I have found it to be expected that I am a gamer since I am a guy, I think it would have been harder if I wasn’t. There were a few gal’s I worked with that weren’t gamers (and a bunch that were) and from what I observed it seemed neutral… but then again we are talking people working in tech support.
I’m a girl, and I think how hard it is to be a gamer doesn’t depend as much on whether you’re a guy or a girl . . but rather, what age your friends are, where you live, what your other social groups are. A teenager who goes to church for youth group all the time has different expectations on them than a middle-aged fellow who works in marketing and hangs out at the local bar. Someone who lives in a rural area or small town will have different challenges than someone who lives in a big city . . etc. etc.
So . .um . . I guess my annswer would be ‘neither’, or maybe ‘depends’
i voted ‘other’ cause you cant really say, every person is different , reacts differently to different things, and are from different places in the world…. that means different culture, outlook, and expectations…
i dont think theres a definative answer to a question like this
It isn’t as crazy as it used to be as far as calling yourself a gamer is concerned. The rise of mainstream serious console gaming really changed things. When it comes to the hardcore side of things where you live for gaming I still think its harder to be a guy gamer. Its less now, but there is still the preconceived notions that you never go out in the sun or bath, etc. I can care less if someone games or not I just hate it when they try to make you know they are a gamer. I know a few girl gamers and it seems like everytime they get the chance they love to state they are a girl gamer and how crazy it is for them to be a girl gamer like they are some kind of rare breed.
But that video games… Its still hard to admit I’m a hardcore Warhammer 40k table top gamer and not get stares or jokes.
I voted “other”. I don’t find being a gamer hard in any way… I never had trouble for being a “girl gamer” (I’m not a big gamer though, I just play WoW) and since all my friends work in IT, it’s natural for me to meet guy gamers. It my little bubble of the world, gaming just IS, it’s not something hard or easy to deal with.
In social situations, it’s harder when you’re a guy.
When a guy meets a girl gamer, I’m sure that 90% think “That’s cool”.
When a (non-gamer) girl meets a guy gamer, I have the feeling that there is a good chance that she will get associations to guys living in their parents basement.
Harder being a guy gamer, imo. Many people at work know that I’m an mmo player and, even though it’s not an issue, you can almost hear their minds going “meh, no lifer”. But with girl gamers, as long as she’s attractive, being geeky/nerdy/gamer almost always adds a “sweetness” factor to the equation.
I voted guys being harder since I think they’ll have a harder time finding a date if they’re open about it, but I also don’t think gamers have any issue just generally fitting in.
To borrow another hint of nerdery, wearing a Horde t-shirt with your laptop over your shoulder, you’re gonna stand out like a sore thumb but no worse then a rennie girl in a huge poofy skirt and brown leather corset. She’ll stick out too.
How is being a gamer hard regardless of what sex you are?
Heh, well, Shawn, you do well to remind us that being a gamer is entirely about having fun. I’d hazard to guess that most commenters here agree that even though gaming can have its societal pitfalls, life on the whole is made better, not harder, by being a gamer.
… of course, you’ve got a biased selection group…
I have done an experiment with this. I posted a video of some game footage of Halo on two different sites. The footage was me getting multi-kills and killing sprees with a spartan laser. On one site I posted it as a girl gamer, and on the other as a guy.
The site I posted it as a girl I got 90% positive feedback, and then some comments like “not bad for a girl.”
The site I posted it as a guy I got 25% positive feedback, and most of the comments were “Laser whore” or “you suck, use a real gun”
What I learned from this: competition is fierce among men when playing and when a girl is in either the standards are lowered for the level of “play” required or they just want a chance for a date. But take from it what you want, just my observations.
I game a lot, three different ones currently. Different styles of play, different environments (sci-fi, fantasy, military). What I find is that I’m lumped in with the populace without issue or notice UNLESS somehow I reveal that I’m female. The issue there isn’t gaming, then. It becomes one of endless attempts to get me to reveal my age/location/sexual preferences and/or dissing from the guys either for being a girl and somehow less able, or for being a guy pretending to be a girl cos there are very few girl gamers. It’s a huge hassle, so normally I try really hard to not reveal. Also… there’s this assumption that if a girl games she must also look like a supermodel somehow… not sure how that got going, but it’s the first thing that springs to mind from the pool of guys that hassle me for my personal info.
That said, there are a lot of guys who are perfectly fine with girl gamers, don’t underrate us, don’t hassle us, and are awesome teammates. Thanks, guys! You know who you are!
I think it’s hard to be a guy gamer in society today. Guy gamers are almost always sterotyped as lazy, overweight, irresponsible, living in mother’s basement. Girl gamers are stereotyped too I suppose but it seems to be a more positive stereotype. Because we are more rare and an oddity somewhat I suppose. But the general reactions I always receive when I say I game are “Really? Cool!”
Well, there’s a further delineation here, at least as I see it. It’s much socially easier being an *attractive* girl gamer than a guy gamer (and yes, you fall into this category Mary). Like the comic says, the ratio of desirable female gamers to people seeking them out is incredibly unbalanced. Having these two traits together makes one incredibly desirable to a huge swath of men (and some women). Of course, this really only applies to dating or romantic involvement, although I would argue that finding friends is also eased a bit.
Being a less attractive girl gamer (mostly in the aesthetic sense, but also in other ways) is much more like being a guy gamer. They are mostly in the same boat, but probably still wield a mathematical advantage. Basically, I would put the scales of social awkwardness like so (from easiest to hardest): attractive girl -> attractive guy / unattractive girl -> unattractive guy.
Of course purely online it is hard to make such determinations, but this mostly assumes you are talking about building and maintaining relationships in meatspace.
For that matter, almost everything is easier in almost any social group for attractive people. Even things that really shouldn’t be. It’s not just dating and romance. I’m getting slightly to old to totally get the ‘attractive’ reaction anymore, but I still notice that everywhere I go people tend to be friendly and helpful to me when they often aren’t to others. It’s easier and more pleasant for me to get help in stores, ask for directions, cross a street, buy lunch… people are just generally nice to me. And therefore I have the general assumption that people are nice. So phone and computer conversations are easier too, because I go into it expecting that it’ll be pleasant, and that lets me be relaxed, confident, and friendly myself. I don’t think that the ‘gamer’ label changes this, but it does exaggerate it a bit in some cases.
I voted other. To paraphrase an observation by an old friend, meeting a female gamer online is “like finding bourbon in your milk – nothing wrong with it, it just sort of takes you by surprise.” The female gamers I’ve met have felt the issue was sort of moot because they could seldom get anyone they gamed with to believe they were female anyway (unless they posted RL pics, which to a woman all of them quite sensibly refused to do).
Once people get past the fact that, yes, there is an actual woman in their guild or in their instance with them (and some people take longer than others to get past it), it usually turns out to matter very little (except for the one or two Neanderthals who believe that anything female must be propositioned immediately and constantly).
I used to think there was a difference between male and female gamers in that female gamers were actually willing to have a conversation in-game once in a while and were more likely to be able to form complete sentences, but since then I’ve met enough exceptions to the rule in both directions that I’ve abandoned it.
In terms of the difficulties of admitting in public that you are a gamer, I think it runs about even. That is, people who are likely to be intolerant or ridicule your gaming habits are likely to do it regardless of your gender; and the people who approve of your gaming or don’t care, will approve or not care regardless of your gender. Mostly. I’ve met a couple of boys who were all, “Girls can’t game and they have cooties,” but those boys clearly need to grow up and/or evolve, and can be written off until they do.
I voted “I’m a guy and I think it’s harder being a guy gamer”, but I think this still have a lot to do with some of my anti-social habits that I’ve had a hard time to get rid off since secondary school. When I think about it, I meet a lot of no-life cliché criteriae : few friends, no girlfriend, no leisure activity aside from gaming and such, never go out, rarely wash…
Not that I’m ashamed at all to be a geek. I regret nothing
In my experience, it’s more about hygiene and social habits then it is about gender.
I’ve known gamers, both male and female, that really let themselves go – too many bags of fritos and too much mountain dew with no exercise and no social activities outside their gamer circles. They tend to be more awkward in public and tend to avoid going out in public if they don’t need to. Male or female, they have real problems.
I’ve also known gamers that will game hardcore for 10 or 12 hours, but then hit the club or go to martial arts practice. They eat good, exercise, and have as many non-gamer friends as they do gamer friends. Those gamers are comfortable and self-assured, with no problems that I can see.
I think that if a person doesn’t have underlying social issues, they will not have any problems as a gamer. If they are naturally shy, lacking in self-confidence, or have anti-social tendencies, they will have problems regardless of gender.
Personally, I’m a guy. I grew up fat and shy in the 80′s and didn’t often admit to being a gamer then. I gamed with people that were misfits and oddballs – several of them ended up in prison. I started running in the mid 90′s and shed about 100 pounds; life changed and I felt better about myself. I started talking more about being a gamer, and met gamers that were well-adjusted and had families and lives. I’m convinced that a person’s self-confidence and self-image are more important than gender.
Every girl gamer that I know are treated by the rest like the Awesomeness in person. The other girls are jealous, either because the girl gamers are cool enough about doing what they like regardless of what the other people may think, or because when a game comes to topic, they actually participate on the conversation, instead of saying ‘Come on, let’s not talk about games’. Maybe the other girls are jealous because of both reasons.
But a guy gamer is not treated very well (by both genders). And really often are the center of jokes. Even the guy gamers joke about other gamers that enjoy playing more then they do.
This is easy: which gender gets the positive stereotype (A girl gamer? How unusual! She must be a quirky eccentric!) and which gets the negative stereotype(A guy gamer? Ew. He probably lives in his parents’ basement and is a huge slob.)?
Some people mistake ‘being in a minority’ for ‘being at a disadvantage’. It’s an easy mistake to make. I can respect the ladies as having their own problems in the subculture, but its the guys who have it rougher in the wider world.
Definitely harder being a girl gamer. I get so much bs. People who thing “girl gamer” is a positive stereotype much not play online very much. If I use the mic Im either swamped by white knights who want to “save me,” flirt with me, or who try to add me on their friends list and act upset when I decline. More often, I get people who say things like “get back to the kitchen,” “gtfo,” and etc. And I’m not one of those girl gamers who gets on the mic and is all like “OMG Im a girl, dont hit on me silly boysss. Im a girllll but I’ll kick your *sses” etc.
tl;dr: Even girls who don’t flaunt their gender and just wish to enjoy the game get treated differently than guys. I’m sick of it.
Maybe you’re just dealing with people who are jerks in general. It is not like idiots are rare.
You’re taking a positive and turning it into a negative. At least they are instantly identifying themselves as comtemptible. Hanging out with someone for three months before you find out that they are sexist, racist thieves is a unique and wonderful horror. You should consider a different perspective: what if they didn’t immediately indicate themselves as people who should be muted/ignored?
Oh, and,
” People who thing “girl gamer” is a positive stereotype much not play online very much…”
versus
“…or who try to add me on their friends list and act upset when I decline…”
are two statements that don’t reconcile well. Friend lists don’t always require approval.
I’ve had that experience though, being friends with someone for months.. I can’t make friends online anymore. I’ve had more than one person “fall for me” after we’d been friends for months when I hadn’t been flirty in the least. I’m not interested in that sort of thing. I can’t deal with it.
And I do decline random “friend invites.” I was talking about PSN, and you have to approve them on there. If I’d been talking to the person for a while, I’d accept, but that hasn’t happened in a very long time. Usually I just get messages demanding “pix” along with a friend request.
I’ve began pretending to be male when I game to avoid all the trouble.
I have not encountered this, but you’re right -my online gaming is mostly limited to more exclusive and self-selected communities.
It sounds like you are dealing with a bunch of punk kids. That generally wouldn’t fly in places I frequent. Maybe this is a symptom more so of networks or games that attract a younger audience?
I clicked other, cause in all honesty I think it’s all swings and roundabouts. In game, it’s harder for us girls to get respect, imo. There’s the attitude everyone is male, and if you aren’t then you’re only there for the vanity pets… *looks shiftily at own collection*
However, we don’t get the crap about playing whichever gender of character we choose. Guys still get the whole “you play a girl? thats creepy/pervy/weird” etc thing. And we can play a guy character if we want (i know a few girls who do) and it’s generally not brought up against them.
IRL there are certain stereotypes pushed on us all regardless of gender, which do get tiring at times. It probably is easier for those of us with boobies not moobs to get dates though, in all honesty!
So yeah, I think we all get certain attitudes off some folk which I’d appreciate not getting… But it’s all okay really… We know they aren’t the people that matter, if nothing else they can’t alter my guildnote (currently “Qwertyface” – long story) or my EPGP standing…
I guess there’s hardships to both, but a lot of my (male) guildies, despite being gamers, are constantly saying that, though they respect the women in our guild, they would never date a girl who also plays WoW. Could be because they wouldn’t be able to stand it if their girl turned out to be better than them, but there you have it.
Incidentally, most of my significant others have been gamers and appreciated the fact that they could play games with me, instead of having to make the choice between girl and fun.
I’ve been reading this comic for a couple months, and it’s become one of my favorites. I love going back to the beginning every couple months and watching how the drawing styles changes over time. In all, my compliments to your efforts Mary!
However after taking the poll I specified “other” to which it asked me to comment. The poll question was vague; what precisely would be more difficult in being one gender or another? Are we talking dating oppurtunities? Social leprecy and the peer pressure involved? If we get right to the root of it, I considered “being a gamer” equally hard on both genders. I will admit though if a girl and a guy gamer walked side by side into a public area (assuming they were identifyable by say, a WoW horde/alliance t-shirt), my experience has always been a slight favoritism towards the ladies.
That really depends on what realm of life you’re talking about. Women do have a tendency to get more abuse while playing games in the sense of harassment. You know what I mean, the whole “OMG there’s a girl on WoW? No wai” thing, despite that a large part of the population of games are female. Plus I can imagine that people normally don’t believe that you want to buy Manly Shooter #4, and will instead offer you Barbie Horse Parade.
On the other hand, they also tend to get special treatment. I remember being in a guild and having a suspicious number of officers be female. They were *decent* leaders, but I had the heavy impression that they were put there because the GM had a thing. They kind of get put on a pedestal when they aren’t being knocked off of it.
So in general, it depends what you mean.
(I’m male, btw)
I put down other.
And by ‘other’ I mean, “There is no way in hell I’m picking a side on this one.” Besides, I sorta met my girlfriend through the game, so I don’t think I’m really qualified to say who has it harder since we both have it pretty good at the moment. ^.^;
Other. I think it’s the gamer lifestyle that we’re trying to merge with the “mainstream” culture that makes this difficult. If we just took ourselves as serious people with a common hobby, then the only thing that would make this subject difficult is our own responsibility to be proactive as opposed to reactive (as our hobby tends to reward us for).
Something I’ve noted from my life is the deeper you get into video games, the more this poll leans towards men over women. What I mean by this is those of us who have played games for most of our lives and/or devote a large portion (if not all) of our free time to playing games have a harder time of it than others, if only from a societal standpoint. I play games almost religiously, and seldom keep up with the goings-on of the world, so I have serious difficulties conversing in public about current/local events, or really anything that isn’t about video games or computers. Now this issue could bridge the gender gap, but I tend to notice the few females I keep in close contact with are social enough to overcome any such issue, or manage to avoid the problem altogether
I will admit, though, that women do suffer from some significant stereotypes. The simplest might be “The Prettier You Are, the Worse You Are at Video Games.” To be even more blunt, women are expected to either be the Worst gamer playing, or one of the Best; they’re almost not allowed to be in the middle. I will admit that, like most men, when I find out that the person I’m playing with is female, I tend to have a lapse in gameplay – if it’s a shooter, I try and go easy on them, if it’s an MMO, sometimes I go so far as to flirt with them XD – until I can get used to that fact. The stereotypes on Men gamers, however, can be a little worse. IRL, I’m overweight, by a large margin in fact. I’m a smart, clever, funny guy, as any of my guildmates back in WoW will tell you, but if you met me IRL, saw my size, and found out I was a gamer…well, I’d be willing to assume that’s 10k points against me right there. Women never have to worry about that, because the gamer tag is actually a plus for them, and even if you’re good enough to beat your boyfriend eight ways to Sunday in any game, if he doesn’t like it, there’s plenty of guys out there who do.
Wait, what exactly is the context here? The harder what is? I assumed that the question meant ___ gamers dealing with other gamers, in which case it’s probably hardest to be female (any sexuality) or a gay male.
But if it’s when dealing with non-gamers or in a non-gaming type environment? Depends how prominent your gamer-ness is more than your gender.
Its hard being a gamer. Period. Sex aside thats the truth. Where are you going for vacation? Friend says the greek isles or europe. I’m going to GEN-CON or Dragon Con and you get the dead pan stare and the QUESTION? (what is that?) Though if you tell someone you play a consule system compared to say a PC game then they are not gamers. Social injust I’d say
I’m an asexual robot, and I think-
And for guys, the stereotype appears to be a slob, but really there are plenty of dudes that are gamers and totally don’t fit the stereotype. It all depends.
Not really. That’d be weird.
Anyways, I’m going to go with this:
I’m a guy gamer, and I think it kinda depends on the person. I mean, people can have different issues with it – girl gamers could be, as you said, fetishized, or they could be total slobs as I’ve seen… made fun of on the internet, of course.
I voted “other” and I think the hardest thing of all is being a gamer that plays neither WoW, nor Counterstrike, nor FarmVille. As good as those games are, society at large needs to quit pretending they know jack sh*t about this subculture and get it through their heads that THEY ARE NOT PART OF IT! Saying that “girl gamers are all homely” or “guy gamers are all acne-ridden slobs who live with their parents” is just as meaningful a statement as “all football players have self esteem issues, and that’s why they hide their faces and beat the crap out of each other.” Seriously.
I think it’s definitely easier being a girl gamer… to other gamers. I’m a girl and I’m sure I’m treated nicer by male gamers in-game (although I was oblivious and didn’t know about it until someone pointed it out). And I’m sure it’s easier for me to get a date, just because more guys are gamers than not (at least the ones I hang out with. and to be honest, I’m not sure I’d want to date a guy who isn’t a gamer. I mean, why waste this huge potential common interest?)
But when I tell my non-gamer friends that I play WoW, all I get are “oh I hear that’s like crack” from people who know about the game, and “I uhh.. enjoy hanging out with REAL people” from people who don’t. This might be just general negative connotations about the game itself, but I think that girl gamers don’t have to deal with the stigma of being one of the “few” girl gamers, while, at least for me, I initially assume that all guys are some degree of gamer.
I think all this poll has shown is that you have a lot more guy followers! >_<
Oh, and we ladies get the *really messed up* sexist and misogynist comments, to the point that I usually won’t admit I’m a girl outside of my guild. 90% of the dude players may be cool, but those a**hat 10% left over are much louder!
I voted other cuz I in my socialistic ways dont think the gender matters here…
It’s as hard or not-hard for any of us…
I’m a soldier, a gamer, an NBA fan, a concert junkie, and a guy. I think it all depends where you are. My NCO this morning made a comment, “Stand behind you and give you +14 (soldier skill)”. Then promptley made fun of me for being the only one in the formation that didn’t have a clueless look on your face. But I get the same response from people who aren’t into NBA or concerts when I talk about either of those. Most of who are my gamer friends.
Socially, and in the real world, I don’t believe there’s much of a difference. Especially now when gaming is more accepted. In the gaming world, there’s still a sense that being a girl means that you’re not as good of a player. It’s getting better and more equal over time, but I still see that girl=bad player stereotype a lot (whether from people being serious or just joking).
Despite how inherently sexy gamers are, the time it consumes and the stereotypes surrounding gaming is a serious detriment to prospective social climbers who are gamers. For whatever reason, guys often get picked on over this more often than girls… Probably because girls are, in general, more supportive of eachother and closer to their friends than guys >.> just my two cents.
In the end it all boils down to too many situational factors. Most gaming platforms are entirely anonymous as to gender if you so choose. So for those platforms it doesn’t matter.
I do feel that female gamers are less accepted by some people somehow though. Then again a decent female gamer is watched by people more admirably when she has proven herself.
Why does it matter? Why is it tough? Just be who you want to be and don’t worry about how other people perceive you!
20 years ago when I graduated from High School, very few people knew much about computers. Now, a large majority of people in our society have a computer at work and one at home.
I think both are equally hard. As a guy gamer, I find it’s harder to get dates or to find girls who have the same interests as me. But I can see the other side of the story too. As soon as you make it known you’re a girl gamer, guys flock to you whether you’re interested or not. Guys make wild exclamations such as “they really do exist!” (I will admit I have said that). aqnd all girl gamers really wanna do is play games, not get harassed. So I would have to say both sides have it hard in different ways.
Honestly- I don’t think it matters anymore. DX I mean you can think all you want “I’m a girl- must be weird to be in gaming stores” but it doesn’t really matter. No one cares. Except I did have a guy ask if I was buying a game for my fiancée DX.
Maybe I’m the odd one out, but I am a female TABLETOP-gamer. I play D&D (both 3.5 and 4E), I play Magic the Gathering, I LARP Vampire the Masquerade, I play Dominion and Fluxx and Rifts and Alpha-Omega… and console RPGs. I avoid MMOs because I got addicted to Evercrack in high school and almost trashed my GPA. That’s my background. Speaking for the girl gamer who hangs out in gamer stores… it’s hard to get respect sometimes and it’s hard to avoid being hit on. There are a lot of guys (but also several girls) who definitely look like they’ll never get a date because they’ve let themselves go. But when an attractive girl gamer walks in, or a semi-attractive girl gamer walks in, these guys think that that’s an opportunity and some even think that they are owed the lady’s attention because they’ve gone without female contact for so long. I’m sorry–just because I also think Star Trek is awesome doesn’t mean I want you to hug me. I’ve had to work through my own issues about a negative body image and I don’t want to crush those guys who obviously feel bad about their body images and about themselves… so you have to dance awkward social dances a lot.
When I enter MtG tournaments, a lot of guys look at me and assume that they’ll have an easy two games just because I’m a girl. I lose about half the time, but sometimes they get really angry when I win. Then they turn around and blame my boyfriend for “bringing me” to the tournament — I had been playing for years before I met him!
Honestly, it’s hard for both to deal with people at large. I get stares when I tell people that I help to run an Anime Convention — they just don’t understand how much fun it is and the gamer mentality. There are differences being a girl gamer and a guy gamer that have me frustrated sometimes. I’ve been going to the one local gaming store long enough that most people take me seriously when I play. I’m nervous about moving out of town and trying to reestablish myself, especially since I’m not single and I hate the stereotype that the girlfriend only plays because the boyfriend does.
Anyway, that’s the table-top perspective.
I am a girl gamer and I have to say I think it is slightly more difficult for girls to be gamers.
I stress the word slightly, because this game can be hard for either sex depending on their situation. I am constantly faced with the “Girls don’t exist” or “Girls are weaker” jokes and stuff. It usually is all in good fun, but sometimes it does hurt or get annoying. We have a stereotype of always being mages or hunters with cuddly pets. But I can give you a long list of names of girl gamers in WoW that can kick most of the guys behinds!
Overall, us women shouldn’t embrace the stereotypes and let people do everything for us, fight the system!
Seriously? Hard to be a gamer? wtf? For those who have had experience with jerks, I sympathize. But in my experience, jerks will be jerks no matter what – if you weren’t a gamer, or weren’t female, or whatever, they would find something else to be an *ss about.
I game online, I do tabletop roleplay, I LARP, I go to conventions. Most of my friends are gamers. I have never seen anyone (male or female) mocked for gaming by gamers or non-gamers. I have never seen anyone kicked out of a gaming group for anything except the sort of dickwaddery that would get them kicked out of -any- social group, and gamers tend to be more accepting of people with high-functioning autism or other social problems than general society.
If you’re getting ‘no sh*t you’re a girl?’ comments from people in your WoW guild, rest assured that that happens in non-gaming online environments too. If you’re having to deal with the ‘fat slob in momma’s basement’ stereotype, then make some real-life friends. People won’t assume you’re fat/ugly/unhygienic if they actually meet you face to face and can see that you’re not. If you -are- fat/ugly/unhygienic, then your problem is not that you’re a gamer. Your problem is that you need to take a shower and get some exercise.
Being a gamer is tough? Deal. It’s not any harder than being a non-gamer. Stop blaming gaming for your problems.
Oh, I forgot to mention – about a third of my tabletop groups are female, and nearly half the people at the various LARPs I go to are female. The only people I have seen treat the two sexes differently, or diss any females in the groups, are those who are sexist in general, and also are disrespectful towards non-gamer females as well… And the worst offender is no longer playing with us, because a large number of people (both male and female) told him in no uncertain terms that his behaviour was unacceptable, and he could change or leave.
I’m a girl gamer, but I couldn’t answer your poll because I think it’s not as simple as all-over harder or easier.
From my experience, it’s harder to get respect as a girl gamer, but it’s a lot easier to get ‘help’ in any form you might need it. The guys love to come to the rescue and protect their ladies, even in-game. What they don’t like is to admit that a girl is totally kicking their *sses on the damage meters, fragging them with head shots, or knows way more about encounter X or map Y.
So it’s both harder and easier to be a girl gamer. Just depends on what, exactly, you want from all those men around you. … rather like real-life.
Probably not helpful,
~Rhoelyn of B2S
Holy comment explosion, Batman! Thanks for all the discussion! Just so you guys know, I have to go in and edit comments with profanity, or simply delete them. My host and some advertisers don’t like it and I’d hate for Bluehost to shut NPC down because some profanity comes up when they do a text crawl.
So use the good ol’ asterisk in place of vowels please.
Also, please keep the discussion to how stereotypes affect our lives, and avoid stereotyping each other. Mmkay? Mmkay.
Sorry
Also among the readers of this site are my 13 and 11-year-old girl gamers, and my 9 and 6-year-old guy gamers! Be creative…find better adjvectives
I voted other because I am a guy, and so have no notion of what it is like to be a woman.
I’m a guy gamer and I voted “Other”, because I have never felt that it is “hard” to be a gamer of either gender. Really, no one cares; if a gamer was the weirdest/nerdiest individual most people met in their lives, they’d consider themselves lucky. I can go run around the streets shouting “I play WoW!” and I’ll probably get as many people shouting “What class/spec/server” as “Shut up”.
I recently had a friend move from her server over to mine so we could level up and hang out when cataclysm releases. She joined my guild and everyone was their standard friendly selves to her….right up until she talked on vent for the first time and posted a picture of herself on the forums. Now she can’t even get through her daily’s without half a dozen lonely and hopeful young men trying to impress her by “helping” her kill stuff etc. Regardless of the fact she is going to be married in 2 months to a really nice guy, she still is consistently pestered. Like me she enjoys playing with others but really values her goof off time where she casually does quests or whatever while watching tv, doing chores etc. Now she is basically forced to interact constantly while online for fear of being rude.
Were going to have to move both of our toons back to her server eventually it looks like ><
It depends on what is harder – as a girl, it’s nearly impossible to get anyone to help me at Gamestop because they think I’m there to buy something for a kid I don’t have or my boyfriend or brother. But as a girl, if I meet a guy and tell him I play video games, he thinks I’m awesome. So that’s easier. Then again, talking to other girls – that’s harder. Getting people to think I know what I’m doing in game (WoW) is easy enough NOW because I have the gear, achievements, and guild tag to prove I know what I’m doing. But in a pug, if I offer some advice most of the guys ignore me until I just take charge and make them understand that I know more than they do.
Guys spend a lot more time than girls on games, thus, from a gaming point of view, it’s far easier for a girl to find a guy gamer to play with than the other way around.
@Danarchist: I know girls who take advantage of being one (LFG , I have b00bs)
@Tygrezz: some people are simply stupid, as a guy it’s just as hard to explain something to someone who says “I PLAY WOW FROM 2000 AND HAVE A LVL 80 GOBLIN CLERIC SO I KNOE WATH IM DOEING”
I know that as a girl it’s harder (but not hard) to find a group of people who respect you, but once you found one to get along with, it’s the same as being a guy.
However besides the fact that the above is a problem mostly for mmorpgs, as a girl it’s way easier to find a guy in RL to play with, so a girl who plays brood, for example, has no disadvantage and having a RL friend to play with is a great advantage. So yeah, being a girl is easier.
I think none of the above because.. guess it isn’t. I’m not good with the words today, ha. In recent years I haven’t had so much trouble with being a girl gamer, I mean, I guess in the real world every gamer, guy or girl, gets looked down upon for being a gamer by those who would. Girl gamers are a minority, and sure they get abuse from the.. um.. “more hardcore” guy gamers *cough* but realistically, amongst most gamers, it’s about equal.
It’s hard being a human gamer. Video Games in general are shunned in “higher society” as a child’s toy or something. It’s changing though and I think we should all drop our preconceptions and fears and embrace it’s becoming as integral to our society as cinema or literature. Soon, there will be no term “gamer” as we don’t really have a word for people who watch movies, everyone just does it.
Actually I think there isn’t such a thing as stuff being harder for a Guy or a Girl gamer. We are all people that do our own thing and some people make that harder for us. The composition of the community determines if it is harder to be a Guy or a Girl gamer.
Though that doesn’t make it right. Equal rights and treatment for all, even if they are role-playing! (I never got why WoW has roleplaying servers if hardly anybody there does it. I had such high hopes for that.)
I forgot to mention – my ex used to roll only female toons on a non-rp server and NEVER told people he was a guy. He got mad at me when I told someone once. It seemed that he used to rp and maybe flirt with guys. They used to give him gear and gold and just want to be with him because they thought he was a girl. This was YEARS ago – I don’t get that kind of treatment now that people are used to seeing girls in WoW.
I’ve never really been treated differently in-game due to my gender. About the most I get is a pause as people rewire their brains with the fact that the tank who just called out a taunt on vent is a girl (my dps and healers never surprise people, but the tank does).
Out of the game it doesn’t come up much – a couple of people at work know I play from offhand comments and my fiance and I don’t really talk about it much with friends that don’t share the same interests. They know we play, its just not a subject of much interest.
It’s harder being a girl. Especially in WoW if you’re a girl there’s a higher standard that you’ll get held up to by serious raiding guilds. There’s also creepy stalkers.
Technically there are more girl “gamers” than guys, but there are more guys on MMOs than girls, so that sort of affects it. If you’re only looking to meet someone for a relationship through the game, it’s probably harder as a guy, but outside the game it’s not going to be a big deal, as long as you handle it well.
Ultimately most people won’t care what you do for fun, as long as you don’t get embarassed about it. It’s all about presenting yourself in a positive light.
I don’t think it is harder either way. I’m a girl. I play with a pretty girl-heavy guild. Two of our top tanks are girls. A couple of our best DPS are girls. Healers? Females are pretty well represented there – I’m one of our healing team myself.
Nobody ever treats me differently, and nobody ever has. In the game, in real life, etc. The only freaky moments I’ve had were guys obviously staring me up and down in a comic book store… with my husband and my daughter latched onto me.
With a game that’s so based on social interactions, it isn’t uncommon for quite a chunk of the population to be female.
I’m raising the daughter to game as well. Good thing too, she’s awesome at games that I suck at.
As a boy – I think it really doesn’t matter. It’s all a question the number of jerks you meet online, i guess. Girls get a bonus from guys online, like being forgiven some things easier. On the other hand if people know about a girls gender, there are always the jerks that think any girl is fair game, no matter how bad their panache.
From the offline point of view – you’re always the Freak, when you are a gamer, no matter if male or female.
I voted “Other” because I think each gender faces their own difficulties
Not harder or easier, either you’re a girl gamer that know how to take advantage of that, and so it’s easier, either you’re the kind of girl that don’t know how to play it, and so you’re a more decent person than previous ones, but it’s harder to be a girl gamer that way
.
I’m a guy, GM of a small guild, with many girls in it
It’s difficult if you make it difficult. I am a gamer guy that is married to a girl gamer. We both play WoW and know that there are a large proportion of girls in the game and have not seen too many problems associated with the sexes. (and yes, we know they are girls because we hear them in Vent.)
I’m a guy and voted that it’s harder to be a guy but have since changed my mind. I have no idea about the female perspective. I’m not an MMORPG player any more, I’m more of a tabletop gamer. I work with kids and try not to let it slip when the parents are around that I play D&D. You never know who might react poorly. I surprised quite a few people when I pointed out that the zombies walking around nearby were LARPing. They thought that was Dungeons and Dragons. *facepalm* A couple of people at work know my “secret.”
To explain what I face a little bit more, I’m in my mid-20′s, balding, overweight, dropped out of college, and live in my parent’s basement. I’m a freakin’ walking stereotype! (though things are changing slowly but surely)
I’m a guy and inspired by today’s comic I voted for other.
Guess what.
If you guessed Cat Gamer, you guessed right.
Hilarious. Thanks for the awesome comic.
I think it’s easier to be a girl gamer for several reasons.
1. I prefer to hang out with guys and nontraditional girls anyway, and being a gamer gives me a social niche.
2. I think the stereotypes about female-type-persons are less damaging ones in this particular area, notwithstanding what the publishers of our games think …
3. It gives me an excuse to write some very unique college papers about things like the development of feminine imagery in the Zelda franchise.
4. As a LARPing, GURPS-addicted *girl* with … enormous tracts of land … and a thirst for funny campaign stories, I will never, never have much trouble getting fun interesting dates with people who share my interests when I want them.
We die virgins PERIOD
Honestly, I think both can be hard depending on the circumstances. As a female gamer, I find I have a hard time relating to all the kids that are on MMOs nowadays. Children that like to troll, or simply act fools because they know there will be no consequences.
But at the same time, I know a lot of decent guys that have a tough time as well. They get the stereotype that they are all immature, perverted people that live in their parent’s basements.
I’m female, and I don’t think gender has much bearing on being a gamer.
I’m a girl, and I honestly think it is just as hard either way, girls DO have easier times getting dates, but they also find it hard to find friends that understand you would rather spend your weekend gaming than shopping or going out…
Very smart, Mary, breaking the results down by the gender of the person answering.
So the consensus seems to be “My gender has it so hard! The other gender has such an easy time!”
Why am I not surprised.