To Meter or Not to Meter

She really did go to therapy. She needed to talk about her Toxic Guilt.

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Transcript: English

Chloe is on a stool, talking to Lisa, who's sitting at the computer desk. Bink sits lower.
Chloe (to Lisa): Let's take a break from the shadow priest lessons and move on to your resto druid. You can't heal.
Lisa (distressed): But last time I played her I wound up in therapy!
Chloe (shushing Lisa): Shh! It's ok. You have us now.
Lisa: Mmph. That's not very comforting.
Chloe: First things first. Let's change your dps meter to a healing meter.
Lisa (eager): So all I have to do is make sure my heal numbers are crazy high and I'll be the best healer in all of Azeroth, huh?
Chloe and Bink exchange a look.
Chloe (taking control of the computer mouse): Uninstalling healing meter.
Written by maryvarn

Discussion (16) ¬

  1. Caylynn

    Good plan to ditch the healing metres. You really need to know what you’re dong to read them effectively!

  2. Nico

    Honestly this is the first joke i don’t get here :(

    • O-Digga

      DPS are obsessed with their damage meters because they see them as good indicator of how well they are doing (though they only tell half the story). Healing, however, is such a complex job that it cannot be reduced to meters. To try to do so is downright ludicrous. The only true measure of a healer is whether the people he was assigned to heal die. If a DPS’er were to switch to healing, they could easily make the mistaken assumption that healing meters are just as important as damage meters, but they’d be wrong. Assuming such shows that Mary is still thinking like a competitive DPS, rather than a cooperative healer.

  3. Bloodroar

    Just get Lisa HealBot and she’ll be okay. lol.

  4. Andrew

    As a person who “heals” Disc from time to time I can safely and emphatically state that the meter is a lie invented by the vast Holy specced conspiracy to keep us down!

    Also, Grid > Healbot.

    • Mitawa

      I concurr, My guild may disagree but…

      Grid > Healbot

  5. Mconniff

    You don’t need a healing meter unless you have gobbs of mem. But a sure fire way of knowing if you’re doing well is while following the Raid healing assignemnts and your assignments don’t die. IF so why do you need a meter? Afraid of pulling threat?

  6. Eirik

    Seeing fat-bink, I keep having “Rabbit and Costello” running through my mind…

    Imagining also that Lisa matches her lipstick with her hair color. I wonder what she’d do with fluorescent blue hair.

    How about recruiting Bill, Jenny, and Mike, to provide a predictable group that Lisa can practice group healing with? Have Lisa pay all repair bills, a very good incentive to improve…

  7. Soulbinder

    Unlike dps, your healing skills can’t really be metered. Wether your “good” or not has a ton to do with mana conservation, keeping people alive (except the stupid ones, sometimes letting a bad player die early saves the raid) and knowing when to blow that natures swiftness. Once you have that down you can start learning how to start long casting heals before a big hit lands on your tank, so the second their health drops its full again. Whew!
    Healbot or Grid helps a ton and there is no viable reason to not use it other than E-Peen. I think the only thing harder than healing is tanking, but that may just be because I have yet to tank well hehe

    • Eirik

      Healing and tanking both are player skills you can train. Mostly, you have to have a group that’s a) willing to work with you, and b) willing to keep working with you when you fail.

      One place to practice is in the battlegrounds. For healing, WSG might be a good place… being a guard for the flag-bearer is a good thing. It is, though, a lot different than healing in an instance or raid; you aren’t permitted to be completely a heal-bot in a battleground.

      AB as well, since the groups there tend to be small enough that you can click on the people you’re trying to heal. AV, you’ve got the anonymity thing going, but it’s often like trying to put out a house fire with a garden hose.

  8. Brigwyn

    Are we sure Bink’s weight gain is due to the turkey livers? I’m starting to think he’s been secretly fixed…

  9. Anikka

    Did the format of the site change at all, or did my internets just bug out on me? Whatever happened, I like it…
    Perhaps Bink remains quiet because Chloe is the one who cares about helping Lisa do better?

    • maryvarn

      It did, and you’re the first to notice! Or the first to say anything about it anyway. :) Making a blog post about it now! Glad you like it.
      Oh, and good theory on Bink keeping quiet. :)

  10. Johnny

    I see what you’re doing! You’re mentioning some of your earlier comics in your newer ones to make people read your entire series! Well, it’s not gonna work on me, I tell ya! I read every single one at least once a week! TAKE THAT!!

    ……..What’s a healing meter?

  11. Random Person

    Hey, healing is easy, all you have to do to heal on a resto druid is stack lifebloom and spam nourish…

  12. NaturalOperator

    ^^ They nerfed Lifebloom to the point that that is not a good strategy anymore.

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